What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

What kind of person does a narcissist hate?

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

What toxic behavior has been normalized by society?

One cannot live in the past .

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

She was in good health!

I can not sleep. what is the problem?

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

I could never make a relationship work though!

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And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

(And it was in our own minds.)

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

Would this be the day?

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

How do I get my body in shape?

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

This is soul school!.

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

In Italy, how do people greet each other when they meet for the first time (e.g., on the street)? What's a good response to that greeting if you're not from Italy or don't speak Italian fluently yet?

What did i know ?

I write beautiful poetry .

Im dying but, im not bitter.

Why are the Chinese so sensitive to Western criticism?

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

She married twice! .

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

As a friend of Megan's who also watches Suits, would you advise her not to return to the show in order to protect her character's reputation?

Why did i forgive my father ?

I was very sick at this time too.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

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They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

What are some ballbusting stories?

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

I said to her

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

And i lived it daily.

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

This is how, and why children get BPD.

But, we were locked up after school.

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

They are buried together, in the same grave..

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

She wouldn,t have been !

Who then, do I blame.?

Im still living with it.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

He knew the spot.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

Especially a lifetime of it.

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

Where the ultimate outsiders.

I will be 64.

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

He resisted the act ,that day.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

I couldn’t, believe it.

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

He was dying to do it , i knew.

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

I was seconnd youngest,

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

My family never makes their pension either.

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

On the 31st of Jan this month .

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

She loved him until the end.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

We were not on the streets..

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

My life is so biszare .

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

When she asked me how she looked .

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

It was going to be , some day.

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

I waited trembling.

Ive learnt so much.

As i do to all so called friends.?

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

I never cut or harmed myself..

I don,t even have a pension.

But ive been too sick for many years..

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

We all went to grammer schools

I think the readers, may guess!

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

I was scared of men, in general

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

And who doesn’t know suffering?

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

So, i spoilt her more .

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

But it wasn’t much.

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

I was 9 years of age.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

She found it foreign!.

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

So whats the point in blame.

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

Comes on , in middle age.

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

My mum and dad in the seventies!

All the time i was locked up.

I did it because my mum asked me too!

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

I have no regrets .

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

Was to survive, this bastard.

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

Put me off passion for life!!